Feel For You
by Jessarie
Summary: Harry is in love with someone and is afraid to tell them. His love grows. He ends up in a place he never thought he could be. Slash Male/Male! MPREG!
1. Part 1

Feel For You

Part 1

By: Jessarie

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters herein nor their setting only plot.

Thanks

* * *

_The first time I felt something other than pure hatred was shocking to say the least. It was a strange day. I had just found out that you were not really a Death Eater. You had been a spy, our spy, and my spy almost as long as Severus. It was your first time in Order Headquarters, and you looked rather worn out. I saw in your eyes, normally cold and gray how hard you had been working. Working to keep me safe until I could kill Voldemort. Someone said something about a late night, but I don't remember all that was said. Only your words, "We have to keep fighting, even if He doesn't know we are. For Harry's sake." This is how I knew._

_How I thought of anything other than you still surprises me sometimes. It scares me to think about the feelings I have for you. You probably won't ever read this or see it for that matter, but I can't help but wonder if you did how you would react. How would you react to me telling you "I love you"? How would you feel? How would you tell me you couldn't love me? How would my world come crashing down? How would the end come so much sooner? I would like to think that they is a chance you would want me, but I can't. I can't see you loving me. I can't see the possibilities because they don't really exist._

_People want their Savior, The-Boy-Who-Lived, not Harry. No one ever wants just me. No one can see behind the shit that I was born into. No one can see the truth or the pain and it hurts me to say I need someone who can. I think if given the chance you could be that person, but that chance doesn't exist. You will not want me, what point is there to tell you all that is inside of me just to get shot down or used._

_I need the pain. The real pain. The pain that accompanies undeniable pleasure. I need to feel. Feel the truth. That someone loves me enough to want to be in me. To take me and make me their own. I need life and love and all the happiness. I wish I could tell you how much I love you and how much I want you to be the one to fill my every need, but once again, I am scared. Scared of hoping, scared of living, scared of telling the truth and having you walk away, scared of not telling you and regretting it for the rest of my life. I need to tell you. I want to tell you. But to speak those words is unbearable if I will be rejected. Maybe one day, I'll send you this… for now, at least my true feeling exist, if only on paper._

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A/N: Like I said before, never done anything like this. I hope I captured Harry okay and maybe gave enough of a hint as to who he's writing about. I am unsure where this is headed or if anymore will be written. It was just something that popped into my head and refused to leave. :)


	2. Part 2

Feel For You

Part 2

By: Jessarie

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters herein nor their setting only plot.

Thanks

* * *

Severus Snape and Harry Potter had been dating/ living together/ fucking like bunnies for almost three years. Their lives were better now that the war was over and Vodie was long dead. Harry was happy. Severus was happy although he only ever showed it to Harry himself. The days were brilliantly spent teaching, as Harry had taken over the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes shortly after his own graduation. Severus had retreated back to the potions he had somehow grown to love. Things were good.

A rather chilly Friday night, Harry sat curled on the couch book in hand. Severus walked in quietly observing the man on the couch.

"Oh, Hey Sev." Harry greeted not looking up.

Severus paused. "Hi, my brat!" he said no malice in his voice.

Harry continued reading and Severus went to the desk in the corner of the sitting room. Normally Harry used the desk in there and Severus graded from his favorite chair, but today he wanted a surface. His back had a slight ache. Sitting down he opened the drawer hunting for a useable piece of parchment. He always liked to have one handy when he graded. Finding what he needed, Severus went to close the drawer only to have something catch his eye.

Reaching back into the drawer Severus pulled an old very warn piece of parchment out. It looked like it had been folded and unfolded a great many times. Severus drew it all the way out and smoothed it upon the desk. He recognized Harry's handwriting immediately.

The first time I felt something other than pure hatred was shocking to say the least. It was a strange day. I had just found out that you were not really a Death Eater. You had been a spy, our spy, and my spy almost as long as Severus. It was your first time in Order Headquarters, and you looked rather worn out. I saw in your eyes, normally cold and gray how hard you had been working. Working to keep me safe until I could kill Voldemort. Someone said something about a late night, but I don't remember all that was said. Only your words, "We have to keep fighting, even if He doesn't know we are. For Harry's sake." This is how I knew…

The letter went on, as Severus realized for four paragraphs. Something bothered Severus though, something big. 'Eyes, normally cold and gray.' Severus' were not and had never been gray, but he knew whose were. Damn it! Harry had been in love with Lucius.

"Harry love, con you come here please?" Severus asked quietly.

Harry's head shot up. He saw where Severus was and wondered why he was sitting at the desk. Getting up and walking over, Harry froze at Severus' side.

"Would you like to explain this to me please?" Severus asked pulling Harry to him.

"Well, it's old. Long time ago. I wrote it, before us. Before everything happened with us. I'm sorry." Harry said quietly and the tears fell before he could stop them.

Severus looked into the green eyes leaking before him. "You still love him." He said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A fact. Harry nodded anyway.

"I can't say I'm surprised. The man is gorgeous, but you love me too, you've said so. How can…" Severus began.

"I don't know. But I know it's true. I love you both and if you cant be okay with that tell me now and I'm gone." Harry interrupted.

His answer was a kiss.

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A/N: I am going to keep going. It seems at least a few people like this one. I am also working on another story, but I haven't published any of it yet. So updates will be random, like whenever I finish a part (chapter) I'll post. Thanks!


	3. Part 3

Feel For You

Part 3

By: Jessarie

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters herein nor their setting only plot.

Thanks

* * *

As intriguing as it would be to say that Harry didn't love Lucius, he did. He knew telling the truth was the only thing that would keep things the way they were between Severus and himself. Harry's thoughts strayed. Maybe he needed to go back. Rethink how things had turned out. How had they gotten here? Between the Occulmency lessons, potions class, and other training for the battle with Voldemort, Harry and Severus spent more time together than Harry spent with anyone else his last year as a student.

_

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_

I walked down the front steps of the castle. I knew in my heart where Voldemort was. Albus Dumbledore was alive. He had faked his own death. How ironic that he faked his and I am walking into mine head held high. I feel nothing. No pain, no fear, nothing. All the horcruxes are gone. All that's left is the soul inside Voldemort himself. Even the one that was in me as cause of my scar is gone. We found a potion to extract it and put it into another object and destroyed it.

_He sees me and pauses. "Well, Mr. Potter, I am amazed. You will die on this night." He says hissing. I shake my head not speaking. I know if I say anything it will just make this more difficult. I know the spell I have to use. I know how it has to be done, but even though he's a murderer, I can't help but think I am becoming one too. I wait for my opening as his taunts and rants continue._

_Moments later Voldemort falls his own curse backfiring upon him with a little help from me. Severus is by my side in an instant. The area around us is still in a fierce fight and all he does is pick me up and apparate me to the hospital wing._

_I pass out after that. _

_Waking up in the hospital wing is something I've done numerous times, but this time there is a hand holding mine. Strangely enough it feels normal. The Headmaster returns to his post and congratulations are bestowed upon me. I know he knows something's up, but no one mentions that I am still holding my teachers hand. _

_I graduate a few weeks later. After accepting my diploma I go down the line of professors shaking each of their hands and getting my congratulations. Dumbledore offered me the Defense position that morning at breakfast and of course I accepted it. When I get to Severus I don't know what to expect. I should have known as a Slytherin he would do something, but I never expected the kiss that comes my way. _

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From that day forward, Severus and Harry were inseparable. The only problem was Harry still loved Lucius. He still had those feelings. How can one love two people? Harry may never know. Sitting in his and Severus quarters he knows it's true. He loves them both.

"What's the matter?" Severus asked coming up behind him.

Harry tries to smile, but can't seem to. "I just don't know. I don't know how I came feel this way. I don't know how to describe it. Its like there's something pulling me to the both of you. I love you. You are the snarky sadistic bastard everyone loves to hate, but I see the real you the one with the heart. Lucius is like the light in all of that. He's overly proud arrogant bastard, but he has a heart too. I want to see his heart. I want you both. I am so confused."

"I know, I'm not mad at you. I just wish there was something that would make you feel better." Severus answered.

Now, had Harry been paying more attention he would have realized Severus was being vague. You see Severus had a plan. Severus always has a plan. His plan was quite simple, but he had someone he had to go see first.

The next day while Harry was teaching and Severus had a free period, he went to the desk in their quarters. Pulling out a very worn folded piece of parchment, Severus walked to the fire. Throwing on some floo powder, he called 'Malfoy Manor' and he was gone.

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A/N: Severus and Lucius meet next part. Nothing else to say, hope you like it!


	4. Part 4

Feel For You

Part 4

By: Jessarie

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters herein nor their setting only plot.

A/N: I am sorry to all those who are following this if you thought the updates would be more regular. Something came up and so I am updating, but this chapter is REALLY short. You'll just have to deal with it. Also, I update when I can or when the urge to write rears it head. Not regularly. Thanks for the reviews and I hope this answers some questions.

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Lucius Malfoy watched as the fire flared green and subsided allowing his long time friend and spying buddy to emerge. "To what do I owe this pleasure, Sev?" he asked motioning his friend to a chair.

"I have something you really need to read." Severus answered taking his favorite chair in the Malfoy library. Leaning forward Severus handed over a very familiar well-worn piece of parchment. He sat back as Lucius accepted it to watch the emotions flitting across his friends face.

Lucius got quite red, then white, and then settled to a pretty pink shade. "Who wrote this?" he asked looking up.

"Harry." Severus answered quietly.

"Your Harry, the Harry you have been with for years?" Lucius asked shock apparent on his face.

"I asked him about it too, when I found it. He says he loves us both and doesn't understand why or how but he does. I have a theory and if your willing, you could end up with more than you ever bargained for." Severus said watching.

Lucius looked skeptical at best. "You want to give him what he wants?" Severus nodded.

"Well, I can't say I never thought about it, but I don't know." Lucius said. "I don't think I can."

Knowing that Harry loved him Lucius thought about all he knew and felt. Harry was beautiful, but he was Severus' unless Harry really did want both of them. What if he didn't though, what if the feelings had changed? What if Lucius couldn't be with two men? How could he? Simple, he had always loved Severus and if Harry loved them both then, why not?

But it wasn't that simple, Lucius was unsure for probably the first time in his life. He was unsure of who he wanted to be.

Severus and Lucius talked for almost two hours before reaching a decision as to what they should do. How will they help Harry?

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A/N 2: CLIFFHANGER! *Insert evil laughter here*


	5. Part 5

Feel For You

Part 5

By: Jessarie

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters herein nor their setting only plot.

A/N: Okay, so this is for _LIGHTNSHADOWS_ who promised me triple chocolate, chocolate chip cyber cookies if I wrote a longer chapter. It isn't really long, three pages, but it does have some bonuses. Here it is and I have actual warnings this time, for complete and utter snogging. Thanks

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Harry walked down to the dungeons hoping Sev wouldn't be mad a t him for being late. He removed his teaching robes and threw them over his shoulder as he walked. Two students had destroyed his classroom and had to stay after to help him clean up. He had sent a note with Dobby, so things should be okay.

When Harry reached the portrait of Salazar brewing a potion he smiled and gave the password. 'That's odd' Harry thought 'Why are all the candles out?'

"Sev? Are you here?" Harry asked loudly reaching for his wand.

Harry saw the flicker of movement just before he was slammed up against the cold dungeon wall behind him. Someone was holding him in place with his lower body. Lips descended upon his and Harry gasped at the brutality of it. He could tell it wasn't Severus, the man before him was slightly smaller and had longer hair. They smelled like vanilla too.

Harry broke away from the mouth before him. "Who are you and why…" was all he got out before he heard a whispered spell and blinked at the candles ignited. Harry closed his eyes against the brightness after having been so dark. Looking towards the sound of the voice Harry saw Severus sitting in a chair nearby watching him. He visibly relaxed.

"Aren't you going to great our guest?" Severus asked calmly.

Slowly Harry raised his eyes to see beautiful gray eyes staring back at him. Harry knew he was blushing, he could feel the heat rising up into his face. The mouth he had been kissing was Lucius'. Harry couldn't breathe. He couldn't think.

"Harry?" A fuzzy voice asked as the world around him went black.

* * *

Harry awoke to the sounds of people whispering nearby. Harry couldn't make out everything but was catching bits and pieces. "Needed to show… can't believe he passed out… think it's okay…" Harry had no clue what they were talking about. Opening his eyes, he saw gray bricks and knew he was still in the dungeons. 'if I passed out, why am I not in the hospital wing, why am I here?' Then as if called back to him, Harry remembered what had happened. 'I kissed Lucius!' Harry's brain screamed.

"Harry, you okay?" Severus asked coming into view.

Harry slowly sat up and discovered Lucius was the other person who had been talking. "Will someone please tell me what the HELL is going on?"

"Well, Harry, it's simple. Sev here came to me and I saw something I probably shouldn't have. We talked for a very long time about you actually." Lucius said softly.

Harry frowned. "I'm confused." He said turning to Severus. "You did what?"

"I showed him your letter and if you are agreeable, we want to try to make this work." Severus answered as cryptic as ever.

"Make what work?" Harry asked.

Lucius chuckled. "We want you to have everything you want, even if that means you get both of us."

Harry turned so red they though he would faint again. 'They want me. Both of them.' Harry's thoughts were spiraling. 'I love them both and they want me. I can do this. We can do this. No we can't, but I kissed him back.' Harry groaned aloud.

"Hey, you don't have to make any decisions now. We just wanted to talk about the idea of all three of us forming a relationship." Severus said softly.

Harry nodded and turned to Lucius. "What do you want?" he asked allowing the gray orbs to pull him in.

"You, Sev, love, happiness…" Lucius answered. "should I keep going?"

Harry never answered. Instead he pushed forward allowing those sweet lips to meld with his once again. Harry lightly flicked his tongue out and then drew it back in to his own mouth. Lucius moaned and took the bait plundering into the hot wet cavern before him.

Minutes later they broke apart breathing heavily. Harry barely had time to catch his breath before Severus' lips were on his and the passion was unbearable.

That night three very happy men lay asleep encased together in a warmth known by few others.

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A/N: This is NOT the end, but I hope you like it. I wanted to let everyone know that it may be a little while for the next update, sorry all, you just have to hang in there.


	6. Part 6

Feel For You

Part 6

By: Jessarie

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters herein nor their setting only plot.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but I'm having computer issues, anyways. Here is the next part to Feel For You! Also a second apology for it being so terribly short, but I felt that was the best place to end it.

* * *

The next morning Harry awoke to a glowing light surrounding himself, Lucius, and Severus in the bed. The other two were waking as he watched the light throb before his eyes.

"What the hell is that?" Lucius asked blinking rapidly in an attempt to clear his eyes.

"No idea." Harry answered. "It woke me up though."

"I think it's residual magic." Severus said in an attempt to keep calm.

"Oh, I see. Why is it floating around us though?" Harry asked.

"That I don't know." Was Severus' response.

* * *

A few hours later they had their answer. After the lights staying with them all morning, someone decided to see if they could get some information on why they all had shiny lights around them. Needless to say when Hermione heard, she gasped and passed out.

"You mean to tell me, we, as in all three of us, are tri- mates." Lucius asked.

"Yes, Mione said, like soul mates who is two people each with half the soul, a tri- bond, or tri- mates means the three of us each share a third of the same soul. She also said that since we agreed to attmept to form a relationship the bond took it as us coming together as one soul." Harry said.

"Holy Shit!" was the joint exclamation.

Harry sat down and let his thoughts go. How can I be soul mates to both of them? Will they love me?

"Yes, already do." Lucius said.

"What?" Harry asked. 'Did I say that aloud?' he wondered.

"No, we can hear your thoughts and you if you concentrated could probably hear some of ours. That one just came through louder." Severus answered.

* * *

Maybe they really can learn to feel...

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A/N: Once again, so sorry so short, stay tuned for more. I'm not done, if only I can get my computer….


	7. Part 7

Feel For You

Part 7

By: Jessarie

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters herein nor their setting only plot.

A/N: Okay, here it is. The end is upon us. I decided that since they all became soul mates I, the writer have the liberty to do this and skip ahead a bit.

* * *

"FUCK! DAMN IT. SEV, LUC THE NEXT TIME EITHER ONE OF YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR MY ARSE WITH YOUR COCK, I'M GOING TO CHOP IT OFF AND FEED IT TO THE GIANT SQUID. DO YOU HEAR ME? AHHHHH!"

Severus Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy cringed in fear as their husband screamed. Harry Malfoy, formerly Harry Potter was in labor. Pregnant with their first child.

Five minutes and a lot of pain later, Madam Pomfrey apparated out their baby. Two small screaming blobs landed in her very full hands. She gasped aloud and turned to a table across the room. Severus and Lucius calmed their distraught husband as best as possible.

Madam Pomfrey returned and began cleaning Harry.

"How is the baby?" Harry asked.

"Fine, I promise... but you are in for a surprise." She answered.

She left and returned with two babies wrapped in blue and pink. "Twins." She said then handed them off the their fathers. The baby girl in pink in Lucius arms had straight tufts of blond hair and the baby boy in blue in Severus arms had the softest darkest locks ever imagined. When both opened their eyes a beautiful green was already present.

* * *

Later that day, Harry's friends and family entered the room to see the new baby. All the Weasley's minus Bill and Charlie were there. All well as Hermione, Blaise, and Draco.

Draco gasped at the two bundles in his now step-dad's arms.

"Wanna meet your brother and sister?" Harry asked smiling.

Draco nodded and came closer. "Did you guys know? Twins?" He asked.

"No, but we sure are glad." Severus answered shocking many in the room.

"Names? What are their names?" Hermione asked.

Harry looked to his husbands who in turn nodded to him. "First off we have our little girl, Athena Gabriel Malfoy. Then we have our little boy, Hades Angelus Malfoy."

Hermione gasped. "Why in the hell would you..."

"Hades because if he came from Severus and I you know he'll be a hellion, Angelus is used in prayers to spread good-will to all. Athena was the goddess of wisdom and Gabriel was the angel that did god's bidding. In many depictions he had pale skin and long blond hair. Make sense now, 'Mione?"

She nodded. "Beautiful babies. You guys did good."

Harry smiled and turned to Lucius and Severus. "All because I was not afraid to feel for you. Both of you."

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A/N: Thanks for all my wonderful reviews, but it's over. I had wanted to do more, but I wanted to get the twins involved too, so I never wrote the wedding. In case anyone was wondering though, they all took the Malfoy name because they can pass on the Potter, Black, and Snape fortunes without having to have the name. Once again thanks, much love!


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